First is the worst, second is the WORST

It seems, I've lost all ability to do anything without getting caught up in a moment of the past.  I can't think without that same person interrupting, but it's the interruption that I don't ever want to go away.  Sadly, it will and all I will have are the memories that I continue to wish to remain today.  I don't know what to do or how to get over someone I continue to love.  I've tried everything and I've failed once again.  I'm not sure why I'm just anyone to him.  I don't know why I love him when I've known that he's never felt anything for me.  Where is the affection that he showed me the first few weeks I met him?  I find him more than perfect in every single way and I want him more than anything.  Perhaps, I'm not being practical, but what's practical in this crazy world anyway?  I write and write and think about things and I can't stop it from entering my head.  I want to be more to him.  I just don't know what else to say.  I want to be his and him be mine.  I see this happen to people all around me, but he just doesn't care. I'm in my apartment moping around and he's probably moving on with someone else.       If only...I loved you before, I love you today, and well, what more can I say when you don't care what I have to say.  They are just words to you.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I love you. I love you. I love you. I am head over heels.  Love is madness.  Hopefully this will be my last sad/lost love blog.